Quing is a way of life. Quing is a belief system that does not believe in believing, but don't think about it. Worship all others before Quing. No chin, no legs. Quing is all things except that which is Quing, but don't think about it. Quing is not unlike Quing on a cross, on a rope, in a can. Do not think about Quing. No chin, no legs. The only way to not know about Quing is to unlearn all the things you don't know about Quing, but don't think about it. To picture Quing you must picture everything that is not Quing; that is what Quing looks like. Sit up all night not thinking about Quing. No chin, no legs. Quing is like all the thoughts you've never thought of, but don't think about it. Quing is not unlike all of the fishing trips you never took. Quing exists only to eat Quingself. No chin, no legs. Contemplate Quing by not thinking of Quing. Quing is like a ceiling fan without the qualities generally attributed to ceiling fans. Quing is not unlike a form of furry golf balls, but don't think about it. No chin, no legs. Do not think about Quing and you will be the foremost disciple of Quing. Never has Quing not been unlike fur-flavored inside-out cake. Do not allow Quing to not be small animals risking gastric distress. No chin, no legs. Win a date with Quing; entries must not be submitted. No not talk about Quing with all of the people you wish you knew. Quing is like cold fire, but don't think about it. No chin, no legs. Don't live out your wildest fantasies with Quing. Learn how to be Quing by not being Quing. Quing can only harm you if you think about Quing. No chin, no legs. Do not live like those who would not live unlike Quing. Sing along with Quing as Quing eats Quingself and exists solely for that purpose. Don't define definitions with Quing, but don't think about it. No chin, no legs. Do not consider Quing. Quing in flight; don't think about it. Quing-box without surfaces. No chin, no legs. Preach Quing but don't think about it. Dehydrated Quing deprivation. Add a twist of Quing to your evening. No chin, no legs. Quing is what Quing is not. Teenage dreams of Quing. Don't tell your kids about Quing and they will love Quing even more. No chin, no legs. Quing is not unlike a circular cube. Do not listen to the confessions of Quing. You have been led not to disbelieve Quing, but don't think about it. No chin, no legs. Fan the flames of the creativity of Quing then get out of the way. Quing is everything in the universe except Quing, but don't think about it. Quing envy. No chin, no legs. Do not allow Quing to operate heavy farm machinery while Quing is not small children. Don't check your hair for Quing. pay no attention to Quing or the words you now read. No chin, no legs. Do not think about Quing while under the influence of Quing. Quing is the lack thereof. Quing is every step you have never taken. No chin, no legs. Once is not enough; plant a porkchop today. Do not disallow Quing to not happen to your family. Don't be fooled by imitation Quing. No chin, no legs. If it is not Quing it is Quing. Quing is smaller than the universe, which is smaller than Quing. If it is Quing it is not Quing. No chin, no legs. Quing country does not consist of Quing. Quing is not unlike the space between food. Quing defines Quingself by actively not being Quing. No chin, no legs. Quing is not unlike a five-legged biped, but don't think about it. Love Quing, eat Quing, experience Quing, ponder Quing, be Quing, but don't think about Quing. Don't put Quing on your toothbrush. No chin, no legs. Quing is not unlike a one-sided pancake. Quing does not eat your food. Quing cannot be read about; since you are attempting to do so perhaps you should re-evaluate your lack of thoughts about Quing. No chin, no legs.

- Excerpted from RConfessions of a Teenage Quing-FiendS by Pop Gus Rasputin and Rev. Zum Splurb. Published by Epileptic Aardvark Publications, 1953. (Out of Print)